


Cut from the Dream

by marywhale



Series: Sleeping Beauty AU [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fairy Tale Retellings, M/M, Still Faerun, a taakitz sleeping beauty au, in which taako kisses a dead body (hot)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marywhale/pseuds/marywhale
Summary: The royal palace is a tourist attraction. Wrapped in mystery and impenetrable briars, shielded with thick layers of magic and preservation spells, breaking the curse is the greatest arcane challenge in all of Faerun. Tours draw in visitors year round.Taako has been obsessed with the palace since his aunt dragged him and Lup there as kids and told them about how five hundred years earlier, a warlock had cursed the royal family and ended their rule. Not because he’s into history or whatever, but because he’s thinking ten steps ahead—he’s thinking aboutresalevalue.





	Cut from the Dream

**Author's Note:**

> [Based on an idea by anonymousAlchemist](https://anonymousalchemist.tumblr.com/post/184953269752/terezis-ruffboijuliaburnsides-terezis-ok-i) which is possibly the best fairy tale au concept ever, including the much longer Swan Lake au I'm currently working on. Is the title of this a Hozier lyric? Maybe so!

The royal palace is a tourist attraction. Wrapped in mystery and impenetrable briars, shielded with thick layers of magic and preservation spells, breaking the curse is the greatest arcane challenge in all of Faerun. It’s also a field trip every kid in Neverwinter has had to do at _least_ twice.

When a curse sweeps over the center of government, kickstarting your nation into a representative democracy, what else can you do _but_ turn the giant ball of vines nobody can touch into a way to add to your GDP? The royal mages did their best to break the curse five hundred years ago and every couple decades some academic thinks they’ve cracked the spells and make a big show of trying to banish them. The spells aren’t going anywhere and neither is the palace, but with the addition of a gift shop and guided tours three time a day—five in the summer—suddenly it’s not such an eyesore.

Taako has been obsessed with the palace since his aunt dragged him and Lup there as kids and told them about how a warlock cursed the royal family and ended their rule. Not because he’s into history or whatever, but because he’s thinking ten steps ahead—he’s thinking about _resale_ value.

Taako and Lup grew up poor. After their aunt’s death, they had to scrounge for scraps. They made a living as cooks on the road, fighting for everything they got in life, and while they shared a cot in the back of a caravan Taako would think about the palace and how there was all this stuff just _sitting_ there. All these antiques and probably lots of jewels and gold and stuff—royalty definitely had jewels and gold—and everyone was too busy trying to dismantle the spells to think about just… slipping in, taking a few things, and getting out.

Stealing from a palace no one should be able to get into? A palace full of stuff that doesn’t even _belong_ to anyone anymore because they’re all dead? It’s the _perfect crime_. It’s how Taako’s gonna make his fortune—or at least how he’s gonna finance the TV show that’s _really_ going to make his fortune.

Taako’s got big plans and they involve retiring someplace warm and sunny and living off royalties from his bestselling cookbooks.

Looting the royal palace is a lifelong dream and Taako’s finally going to see it realized. He’s got his spells lined up, a friend with a big axe, and a friend who’s _way_ too good with plants. This is gonna be a _cakewalk_.

Sure, dozens—maybe hundreds—of powerful wizards and renowned mages have tried to break the curse on the palace and failed, but those people weren’t Taako.

“Are you sure about this, Taako?” Magnus asks, as Taako leads him and Merle to the back of the palace.

The moon is full and heavy in the sky above them, casting enough light that even Magnus can see as the three of them creep up behind the biggest tourist attraction in Neverwinter. In the dark, the vines wrapped around the palace look like giant snakes clutching the palace in their protective grasp. It’s so jack and the beanstalk shit.

Taako’s not going to let a little thing like the foreboding atmosphere that comes with breaking into a national treasure in the middle of the night keep him from living his dreams. He pays taxes. The palace practically _belongs_ to him. “Relax, my dude,” he says. “Cha’boy has been planning this forever and we’ve got Merle to deal with the plant thing. We’re gonna be rich as _hell_.”

“Do you think the vines will like me?” Merle asks, smoothing a hand over his hair. “I wore my best robes.”

“Gross,” says Taako. “If they don’t like you, Magnus has his axe. We’re all good. Now give me your hands and let me concentrate.”

Taako’s put a lot of thought into the spells around the palace. He’s read reports written by people who’ve spent their _lives_ studying them—people who devoted decades to trying to take the spells down to advance Faerun’s understanding of its own history or whatever. He knows all the tricks people have tried before. He can follow their logic.

Taako’s not like most wizards though. Taako thinks _outside_ the box.

Taako links hands with Magnus and Merle. He takes a deep breath, centering himself, and casts Plane Shift, transporting the three of them to the Ethereal Plane.

On the other side of the plane shift, the palace stands in front of them, unmoved. There’s a shimmering layer of magic between them and it still, but Taako’s got faith in himself. He, Merle, and Magnus all take a step forward and pass right the fuck through the shield, stopping safely on the other side.

Taako drops the spell, half convinced they’re gonna be slammed back through the shield as soon as they’re back on the material plane, but it’s… fine. Nothing happens. Taako exchanges a glance with Magnus, then cautiously lets go of his and Merle’s hands so he can turn and make sure the shield really _is_ behind them.

From the inside, the shield is an opalescent barrier between them and the rest of the world. It looks flimsy, like it would pop if Taako touched it.

Magnus lets out a whoop of joy beside him, slapping a hand against the inside of the shield. “Holy _fuck_ , Taako!” he says. “You did it! You got us inside!”

“Of _course_ I did!” Taako grins, barely holding himself back from jumping up and down because he’s _cool_ and _collected_ and totally not surprised that he got through the shield with a seventh-level spell. “I _told_ you it’d be fine! We’ve _got this_.”

“Still gotta get through the vines though,” Merle says, making a show of rolling his shoulders and cracking his knuckles. “Now it’s _my_ turn to go to town.”

“Ew,” says Magnus. “Are we sure I can’t just hit them?”

The vines are wider around the base than Magnus us. Up close, the thorns that cover them are vicious—four inches long and razor sharp. They’re fibrous and enhances with magic and Magnus might be a carpenter, but there’s no way he’s getting through them with a normal axe.

Merle reaches up to touch one of the vines, caressing it. “Don’t listen to him, baby,” he purrs. “Merle’s here and _I_ can appreciate your… girth. Those thick tendrils of yours. I bet you’re lonely, huh? Trapped here all alone.”

Taako regrets everything. This might be a necessary evil, but it’s still an evil. “I’m going to use one of those thorns to deafen myself.”

“Oh _God_ ,” says Magnus, “Taako, cast Silence. _Please_ cast Silence.”

Taako clasps his hands over his ears, shaking his head. “Not a spell I have, my dude. Cover your ears—it’s every man for himself.”

Merle rolls his eyes, stroking the vine under his hand nice and slow. “Why don’t you… part the curtain and let us slide on in there, baby?” Merle asks. “We just want to… explore inside you.”

Taako feels like his skeleton is trying to escape from under his skin he’s cringing so hard. “I’m in hell,” he says. “I _asked_ for this.”

“This is _your_ fault,” Magnus agrees, covering his own ears and squeezing his eyes shut. “If I can’t see you, I can’t hear you.”

Taako would make fun of Magnus, but he’s too busy trying not to hear Merle sweet talking the giant, thorny vines wrapped around the palace. Or maybe just one vine—it’s kind of hard to tell whether it’s a bunch of plants or just one really big one. Merle keeps murmuring to it under his breath though, and as Taako watches and tries really hard not to read Merle’s lips, the vine shifts aside, exposing a paned window.

The window doesn’t look like it opens, but that’s why they have Magnus.

Taako risks hearing stuff he’s gonna hate and drops his hands so he can nudge Magnus. “Hey,” he says. “You’re up. Smash some stuff for us—just try not to break anything valuable on the other side.”

Magnus opens one eye, peeking out at the window, then lets go of his ears so he can grab the axe strapped to his back. “I’m gonna get some antique chairs and bring them back to the shop so I can study them,” he says, grinning. “I’m going to learn all sorts of new techniques. It’s gonna be _awesome_.”

“Yeah, cool,” Taako says, taking a step back so Magnus won’t hit him. “I’m gonna go after, like, silver and jewels and shit.”

The way Merle’s touching the vine, the fact that he’s here with it is probably a reward in itself. Taako’s not really worried about splitting their spoils. No matter what they take, it’s gonna set them up for life.

Magnus raises his axe, taking aim at the window, and then brings it down hard, shattering the glass and the snapping the soft metal frame holding the window panes in place. It only takes him a couple swings to knock the whole thing through.

“We’re breaking into the _royal palace_ ,” he says, grabbing hold of the window ledge after he puts his axe away. “This is _awesome_.”

Magnus hauls himself up and over the ledge, into the palace, disappearing into the darkness of the room on the other side. “Holy _shit_ ,” he says. “I don’t think there’s even any dust in here.”

Taako cannot _wait_ to get his hands on some antiques. “Okay, short stuff, say goodbye to your new friend,” Taako says, clapping his hands. “We gotta keep this train a-moving if we want to be done by daylight. You good? Need help getting up?”

“I can handle it,” Merle says, defensive. “I’ve got magic.”

“Cool, see you on the other side.” Taako casts levitate on himself so he can float more-or-less gracefully through the broken window, anticipation burning in the pit of his stomach. He’s wanted this for _years_ , been daydreaming about it since he was a kid and it’s _finally happening_.

Taako touches down on a thigh rug laid out over polished wood floors. The room they broke into is some kind of sitting room and it’s... beautiful—high ceilings painted with elaborate murals, furniture upholstered in silk, a fireplace decorated with elaborate wrought iron fixtures. A historian would probably give an arm and a leg to be in Taako’s place right now. This is _history_ —real life, just as the people who lived in the palace half a millenia ago would have experienced it.

Taako doesn’t really care about that though—he’s here to fill his bag with everything he can possibly carry.

“We’re gonna be _rich_ ,” he says, making a beeline for a set of silver candlesticks sitting on the mantle of the fireplace. Even in the dark, Taako can tell they’re as shiny as if they’d been freshly polished. He pulls the candles out and stuffs the candlesticks in the satchel slung over his shoulder. “I should have invested in a bag of holding before we came.”

Taako hears a thump behind him and turns to see Merle picking himself up off the floor, looking grouchy. “You good?”

“I’m fine!” says Merle. “Just fine! Don’t worry about Merle’s old bones.”

“I _offered_ to help,” Taako says, turning his attention back to casing the joint. “You know what we need to find? We need to find a bedroom. We need to find the _jewelry_.”

“Wouldn’t that be in a vault somewhere?” Magnus asks, running a hand over a side table. “I wouldn’t mind finding a bedroom through. I bet they’ve got a lot of neat old furniture in there. Maybe some nice wooden boxes? I bet Julia would like one of those. Something neat she could put stuff in. Maybe a _puzzle_ box.”

“You could _sell_ the box and buy Julia ten more,” Taako points out. Other than the candlesticks, nothing jumps out at him immediately as worth stealing, so he gestures for Magnus and his giant axe to lead the way out of the room. “After you, my man.”

Magnus grins and pushes open the double doors out of the room. There’s a long, wide hallway on the other side, almost pitch black without the benefit of the moonlight coming in through the broken window in the sitting room. Taako can make out the shape of paintings lining the walls. Magnus pauses, squinting, and then looks back at Taako and Merle. “I, uh, I can’t see.”

Taako rolls his eyes because _humans_ and their terrible eyes, casting Light on Magnus’s axe. “I got you. Lead on, Macduff.”

“If anything moves, hit it,” Merle says, following Magnus and Taako into the hall. “There’s a curse on the castle. You never know.”

“I think I can _handle_ anything that’s been waiting around for five hundred years,” Magnus says. “I’m _very_ strong.”

“Good,” says Taako, eyeing the paintings on the walls as he trails behind Magnus. They’re big, but they’ve got to be worth a small fortune each—old masterworks that have withstood the test of time _beautifully._ If he knew shit about art, he could figure out which ones were famous and shrink them so he could carry them out of here. “If there are curse monster lurking around here, I volunteer you to be the one who deals with them.”

“That seems unfair,” says Magnus. “You’ll _help_ , right?”

“You’re a big guy. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Taako’s also pretty sure that curse monsters aren’t a thing, but he’s not stupid enough to say that out loud. Walking through the palace in the dark is creepy enough already without adding a jinx into the mix. It’s like everyone decided to go to bed early and Taako can’t help feeling like if they’re too loud someone is going to come rushing around a corner to arrest them for trespassing.

Taako’s not gonna think about it too hard. If he acts confident everything will be fine. “If we want to find the bedrooms, we should find a staircase.”

“Maybe we should poke around down here for a bit first. Make sure we’re not missing anything big.” Magnus glances back over his shoulder at Taako and Merle. “Also I don’t know where to start looking to find the stairs.”

Magnus has a point. The palace is a _palace_ inside—lots of small rooms off long hallways. Taako’s looked at maps of the inside of the palace before, but he has no idea what room they broke into so that doesn’t help orient them. His knowledge right now is limited to the fact that the bedrooms the royal family slept in are upstairs.

“You think there’s a library here?” Merle asks. “Books are probably worth a lot of money.”

“ _Books_ ,” Taako says, because that’s actually a good idea. Like art that doesn’t need to be shrunk down. “That’s actually a good idea, Merle.”

“Thanks,” says Merle. “I know.”

“So we’re staying on this floor for a bit?” Magnus stops walking in front of the next set of doors. “Cool, I wanna poke around. This is creepy as fuck and it’s _awesome_.”

“That’s the kind of thing the person who gets murdered first in a horror movie says.” Taako pats the candlesticks in his bag to reassure himself. He’s already got a ton of silver out of this. It’s going to be fine. “We’re here to loot the place and get out. You get three downstairs rooms. Pick wisely.”

“Looting sounds bad,” Magnus says. “Is there another word we could use?”

“ _Liberating_ ,” says Merle. “We’re _liberating_ valuables. You know, making sure someone gets to appreciate them.”

“Exactly,” says Taako. “It’s a public service. Magnus, is this your door or what?”

Magnus studies the door for a moment, then nods, striding forward to pull it open. “I’ve got a good feeling about this one,” he says. “Feels like a library.”

Magnus steps into the room, Taako hot on his heels.

The room isn’t a library, but it’s not a complete bust either. They’re in some kind of music room. There’s a weird looking piano-thing—a harpsichord, maybe?— and a cello propped up in front of the blacked-out windows. Directly under the window there’s an ornate desk, with a stack of neatly rolled parchment set up next to a capped bottle of ink. The otherwise empty middle of the room has a low settee angled towards the desk and on the settee—

Magnus lets out a yelp, brandishing his axe at the couch. Taako’s brain short-circuits, trying to process the fact that there is a _body_. A body, right there, in front of them. A body, draped dramatically over the settee with one arm dangling off of it, fingers just barely curled around the neck of a violin on the floor.

The body belongs to a dude in a fancy, old-fashioned suit. He has dark skin and long, dark braids splayed out around his head like a halo. His eyes are closed, like he’s sleeping, but he’s unnaturally still and considering it’s been _five hundred years_ since anyone stepped foot in the palace, definitely, definitely dead.

Taako stares at the face of the corpse they’ve unwittingly discovered, brain thoroughly offline. “Oh my god,” he says. “He’s hot.”

There is a moment of lingering silence. Magnus turns to stare at Taako, incredulous. “Did you just... call that dead body _hot?_ ”

“Oh _sure_ ,” says Merle. “But I can’t sweet talk some plants.”

Taako feels himself blush, cheeks heating in the dark room. “That’s not—not like _that_ ,” he says. “I just mean _objectively_. Objectively he’s—I don’t want to talk about this.” He looks down at Merle because _fuck this_ , he is _not_ going to be the new Merle. “You don’t _sweet talk_ anything, old man. You _talk dirty_ to plants.”

Merle shakes his head, grinning. “Uh-uh, you can’t turn this back on me. You called that dead body _hot_.”

“I didn’t mean it like _that_. I mean, _look_ at him.” Taako waves a hand at the dead dude. “He’s handsome, okay? This isn’t on me. I’m stating a fact!”

“You think he’s _handsome_?” Magnus asks, raising his voice and squishing up his face like Taako’s a teenager who just admitted to thinking the high school quarterback is cute. “Do you wanna _kiss_ him?”

“No, because he’s a _corpse_ ,” Taako says. “We’re supposed to be burgling right now. We should get back to burgling.”

“I think he’s scared,” says Merle. “Are you scared of the corpse, Taako?”

“Your sister is dating Barry,” Magnus says. “I feel like you shouldn’t be scared of a corpse.”

“I’m not _scared_ ,” Taako snaps. “I just don’t want to kiss a _dead body_ which is, uh, real fuckin’ _reasonable._ Why do you want me to kiss a corpse? Why don’t _you_ kiss the corpse?”

“I’m not the one who called him hot,” Magnus says, grinning. “I dare you to do it. He’s not even gross or anything—preservation spells, right? He’s fine!”

“He’s a _corpse_ ,” Taako repeats. He feels like Magnus and Merle are maybe forgetting that salient point.

Except they definitely aren’t. They definitely know there’s a _dead body_ in the room with them. They’re just being dicks.

Taako _does_ know Barry well. He’s not creeped out by death, but his first thought upon seeing this particular body really _was_ that the guy was hot and that’s something Taako’s gonna have to live with and he’d like to move on from it as quickly as possible and try to forget that once he saw a body and thought _“hot boy.”_

“I mean, if you’re too scared to take the dare.” Merle raises his hands, making a big show of backing down. “We won’t tell anyone you chickened out.”

“This isn’t going to work on me,” Taako says. “I’m not Magnus. I’m okay with chickening out. Chickening out is a good way to stay alive and not get _corpse germs_ on your mouth.”

“You’ll be fine,” Merle says, cheerful as anything. “I’m a cleric.”

Taako crosses his arms over his chest. “ _Barely._ ”

“I’ll give you ten gold to kiss the corpse,” Magnus says, eyebrows raised.

Ten gold _is_ tempting. Taako glances at the body, then back at Magnus, narrowing his eyes. “Twenty.”

“Deal,” says Magnus. “ _If_ you do it on the lips.”

Taako isn’t going to examine the fact that it didn’t even occur to him to kiss the body anywhere else before Magnus brought it up. “Fine, if that’s your kink, my dude. Twenty gold. I kiss him on the lips. You’re not allowed to tell Lup.”

“She’d kill us for not bringing her along on the break in,” Magnus says. “I won’t say anything.”

“Great. Cool. So we have a deal.” Taako pauses. Magnus and Merle watch him, expectant looks on their faces. It’s more pressure for a kiss than Taako’s felt since he was thirteen and kissed a boy for the first time.

He rolls his eyes and turns on his heel, facing the settee and the body draped across it. One kiss—a quick peck on the lips and he gets twenty gold, plus everything else they’re gonna take from the palace tonight. No problem. Definitely worth it.

Taako steps closer, cautiously making his way across the richly patterned rug on the floor. Magnus is right. Other than being dead, there’s nothing wrong with the dude on the couch. He’s just a beautiful man in a black suit, some mystery guy who died with a violin in his hand.

Taako wonders who he was when he was alive. Some kind of musician, obviously. Maybe he was famous—maybe Taako should grab some of the papers off the desk and see if he can sell them as undiscovered compositions.

Maybe Taako is thinking about things in the room he can steal to avoid thinking about kissing a corpse.

Taako stops beside the settee, looking down at the man and his high cheekbones and plush lips. His eyelashes are long and dark against his rich brown skin. Taako would _definitely_ hit on this dude if he ran into him in a bar.

“Do you want to take him on a date first?” Merle asks. “You know, if you don’t want to do it—”

“I’m doing it!” Taako says, shooting Merle a dirty look over his shoulder. “Give me a second.”

He turns back to the body laid out in front of him, acutely aware of Merle and Magnus’s eyes on his back. “I don’t know who you were, my dude,” he says, lowering his voice as he bends over him. “But if you were a musician than I’m sure you’d understand the appeal of twenty gold. This’ll be weirder for me than it is for you.”

Taako squeezes his eyes shut and leans in, closing the space between his mouth and the corpse. He presses a quick, chaste peck to the dead guy’s lips. They’re dry and cold and the kiss is weird as _fuck_ , but it’s a second of weird for _twenty gold_ and Taako can do that.

He pulls back, rubbing the back of his hand over his lips. Magnus and Merle are cackling behind him, like seeing a kiss is _hilarious_ , so they don’t see what Taako sees—the corpse sucking in a sharp, sudden breath as his eyes flutter open, revealing golden-brown pupils. The man blinks, gaze focusing on Taako, still bent over him, and his handsome features crease into a confused frown.

Taako stares down at the corpse he just kissed—a dude who was definitely, _definitely_ not breathing fifteen seconds ago—and does the only thing that makes sense: he screams.

The corpse lets out a started yell too, scrambling into a seated position and brandishing the bow for his violin at Taako, who stumbles back, tripping over the carpet and landing hard on his ass, a loud _clunk_ echoing around the room when his bag hits the floor.

The laughter behind Taako cuts off and Magnus lets out a gratifying little yelp too.

“Oh my god, you resurrected him,” Merle says. “It’s a miracle.”

“Taako, what the fuck?” Magnus sounds borderline hysterical. “He was _definitely_ dead, right?”

“Who _are_ you?” the apparently-not-dead man asks. He glances at Magnus and Merle, wary, but most of his attention—and the end of the bow in his hand—is focused on Taako.

That’s probably fair. Taako _is_ the one who kissed him.

“I’m Taako,” says Taako. “Listen, we’re not here to, uh, make trouble or what have you. Don’t mind us. We’re gonna—we’re gonna go and _you_ can go. Or sleep. Or, uh, die, or whatever it is you wanna do. I’m not going to tell you what to do with your time.”

“Did you kiss me?” The man looks Taako over, gaze focusing on the floor by his hip. He frowns. “Is that my mother’s silver?”

Taako glances down at the candlesticks that must have rolled out of his satchel when he fell. “I’m, uh, polishing them,” he says, picking them up and stuffing them back in his bag. “Hey, why are _you_ asking all the questions here? We’re tax-payers. We’re not doing anything wrong. This is probably technically public property. What’s _your_ name?”

The man draws himself up on the settee, squaring his shoulders and tilting his chin up. The light coming off Magnus’s axe highlights his cheekbones and accentuates the curve of his lips. He’s like one of the paintings on the walls come to life—a work of art.

“ _I_ am His Royal Highness, Prince Kravitz of Neverwinter,” he says, pretty eyes focused on Taako’s face and weirdly intense. “I was cursed to prick my finger on my twenty-first birthday and fall into a deep sleep that could only be broken by true love’s kiss. A sleep you woke me from.”

It takes Taako a moment to catch up with what Kravitz is saying, and when it all snaps into place Taako’s mind is immediately filled with the sound of danger sirens blaring on full blast. He feels like he needs to go lie down somewhere for five-hundred years too.

A prince. Cursed to sleep for centuries, waiting to be saved by true love’s kiss.

A kiss that _Taako_ laid on him and his cold, dry lips.

“Holy shit,” says Magnus. “This is _totally worth_ twenty gold.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed this story! Will there be a part two? _There might be a part two._
> 
> You can come and say hi to me over on tumblr where I'm [@marywhal!](http://marywhal.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Bit Alarming](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010287) by [argentoswan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentoswan/pseuds/argentoswan)




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